Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Dave Barry

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Let me ask you something, in all the years that you have.

.undressed in front of a gentleman has he ever asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out and left? No? It's because he doesn't care! He's in a room with a naked girl, he just won the lottery.I am so tired of saying no, waking up in the morning and recalling every single thing I ate the day before, counting every calorie I consumed so I know just how much self loathing to take into the shower.I'm going for it.I have no interest in being obese, I'm just through with the guilt.So this is what I'm going to do, I'm going to finish this pizza, and then we are going to go watch the soccer game, and tomorrow we are going to go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans.

Elizabeth Gilbert

I talked to a calzone for fifteen minutes last night before I realized it was just an introverted pizza.

I wish all my acquaintances were so tasty.

This Book Has No Title, Jarod Kintz

I mean, I thought killing somebody would be this life-changing experience. And then I did it, and I was like, 'All right, whatever.' I shot a guy who wouldn't stop and it was like nothing.I mean, you kill somebody and it's like 'All right, let's go get some pizza'

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"Oh no I don't really like curry. No, I like English food, you get me? like Pizza or Chinese" - Taaj Man Zua

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