Setting Limits for Children (re: sysdharma) // 18-5-31
sysdharma recounts an experience with kids throwing stones at each
other and parents not intervening, supposedly based on the notion of
children having to push back to others by themselves, if they don't
like it, otherwise they would not learn to become independent. Whatever
the cultural context is, I believe this idea is BS. Kids can only
handle problems up to a certain level; above that, they need assistance
We also tell our children they must say "Stop!" if they don't like what
another one is doing. But after the third time, I would certainly
intervene, because I don't want to teach my kids they should start
throwing punches if the other does not listen (except if they are
directly and physically attacked with threats of serious harm, i.e in
I have some suggestions for such situations (please note I do not abhor
* Throw a stone at the kid. When the parents complain, tell them
their kids also need to learn how to handle interference from
adults, not just kids. After all, where's the limit between being a
child or an adult?
* Ask the other parent whether they also teach their children how to
organize a lynch mob. After all, who needs police, if one can
directly punish breakers of laws?
* Alternatively, directly shout to all the other kids to band
together and beat the offender. After all, see previous reasoning.
sysdharma has absolutely the right (bad) feelings about the incident,
in my opinion! _thumbs-up_