VR and Guilt
My step-dad got a free Samsung Gear VR goggle set from his phone
company for buying a new phone. He has no idea what VR is, and barely
can spell it, so he offered the set to me. Intrigued, I brought them
home and set it up.
The install was easy, and most everything seems to work, except the
Within app movies -- they play in 2D on the preview screen, but when I
try to "Enter VR" I get a black screen with the video sound. Bummer.
But other stuff works.
And I got very, VERY sick. I'm prone to motion sickness anyway, and so
I was careful while using the goggles. But apparently, you can get
sick after taking them off and rejoining the actual reality. Weird. My
brain already has difficulty with distinctions of reality vs.
non-reality, so I figured I'd be used to that, but not so.
The only reason I had time to set up and try these goggles is because
I am still on disability. And for that, I do feel somewhat guilty. I
sit at home and wonder why the good people of the world are out there
earning a living and I'm at home. Oh yeah, I remember: because I'm
crazy. Because I CAN'T work. Well, I can't work at what I used to do,
But I do want to do /something/. Perhaps something simple, something
that any crazy person can do. I just don't know what that is. I look
through jobs on RatRaceRebellion every day, one after the other. A few
look like possibilities, and I apply... and never hear anything back.
I spend my time polishing my python3 skills, my hugo skills... and
playing with VR goggles. I wish I was normal.
But this is the hand I've been dealt. I wish I could find a good
linux/UNIX IT job of some kind. I can do that stuff all day. Writing
shell scripts, or whatever. I love that stuff. I LIVE that stuff. But
even then, sometimes I code nonsense because my brain doesn't work.
The weird thing is, the nonsense is always functional. It's stuff that
"works" in the sense that there are no errors (or few, anyway). But
the paranoia is there, and some of it has to do with that. The old
stuff about Saturn and the hex people, and the codes....
And we're back to crazy.