For the most part, my medication has been fantastic. And, for the most
part, I know better than to start a sentence with a preposition or
I was warned that this medication might make my brain run slower, more
sluggishly. I've written about this already. It seems to be having the
opposite effect. And, for the most part, I am enjoying that side
effect. The only bad part about my brain running faster is that it can
be hard to fall asleep. Or stay asleep.
However, I've now found new energy to fix things, even simple things
like finding a way to keep household cleanser from clumping in the can
(rubber cat food can lids fit perfectly).
And, as a result of being able to think more clearly, I've found my
job to be even more difficult to handle. My job is a brain and soul
killer. I hate it. Most of the people are very nice, and I like them
(just one exception, and that's the guy who signs the paychecks).
So now, I need to find a new job. And for various reasons, I find job
hunting very difficult. In fact, some friends have suggested I wait
until I get fired, then claim disability, which I'm reticent to do.
Technically, I am disabled, but getting disability is going to be a
lengthy process here.
And so, I've been pondering what life was like before the medication.
I don't have any desire to stop taking it, please understand, but
there were some things that were just simpler then.
It reminds me of the book Flowers for Algernon. In the end, he went
back to the way things were before. Aspects of that are tempting here,
but not enough, not /nearly/ enough, to make me stop taking my
medication. So I'm stuck.