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This an original text that just

Found at: 0x1bi.net:70/textfiles/file?humor/women.jok

Subject: Truths About Women

(This an original text that I just happen to spout spontaniously at about 3:00am
the other night.  Hope you like it.  -- David Crist)
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DAVID'S TRUTHS ABOUT WOMEN

TWO SETS.

Any woman that you become extremely attracted to will tell you that you are
the best friend that a woman could ever have.

Being told that you are nice is:
        the equivalent to her saying, "I wish that you were my brother."
        a curse.
        her way of saying that "I hope we can just be friends".

A Slut is a woman that will sleep with anyone.  A Bitch is a woman that will

Only beautiful women who are engaged or engaged to be engaged or married or
your mother's best friend will think that you are a wonderful person that any

These same women will be completely dumbfounded at the revelation that you

When a woman says "No!" she really means "Yes!" -- except, of course, when she
means "NO!"

Unless you make over a million dollars a year, you must completely ignore and
existence, she'll die for you.

The degree of subtlety used by a woman is inversely proportional to how
attracted you are to her.  If you are absolutely in love with everything about
you have no attraction to her what-so-ever, she will ask you to come spend a

A woman will confide in you that she slept with your best friend and that he
treated her like dirt afterwards.  She will go on-and-on for hours, until she
builds up enough nerve to ask him out again.

Every woman that you meet that you are instantly attracted to will be:
        Married,
        heavily dating the same guy for the 3rd year,
        a lesbian
        my brother's ex-girlfriend.

A "Taken" woman will tell you that you are a great-looking guy, but that looks

"Taken" women are the only women capable of understanding your wonderful sense
of humor, you amazing musical talent, your tremendous sensitivity, and

A Woman will talk to you about a certain guy that they think is a real jerk,

Women will absolutely drive you crazy and seemingly make no sense.

Women will confuse you and make you distraught.

Women are the most wonderful things in the entire world.  They are the most
they look to the way they talk to the way the move, walk, sigh, gesture,
fantastic.
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