The Monster in the Toilet

Found at: 0x1bi.net:70/textfiles/file?humor/oam-001.txt

                       The Monster in the Toilet Bowl 
                                By: Stumpy     

      I don't know if you realize what really goes on in a bathroom.  So many  
 questions and yet so few answers.  If you take for example, how does the
 tub work; and what is really behind your mirror?  Of the top of your head 
 you really don't know.  One lonely day I found out all about the bathroom, 
 especially the toilet.
      Every morning it is the same old deal when I wake up.  I get up, walk     
 to the bathroom and turn on the water to the bath.  I go back into my room 
 and sleep some more and hopefully the tub dosen't overflow.  My mom usually 
 comes up and wakes me up again and I go to take my bath.  I close the door 
 and I make sure I lock it."Rub a dub, dub," is what I sing when I am in the 
 tank of water.  It passes the time as I lather my body.  I finally get out 
 and dry myself.  Comb my hair, and take my medicine out of the mirror, but 
 today, it all changed.  The mirror wouldn't open.  I pulled and I pulled it  
 wouldn't budge!  Frustrated, I kicked the darn thing and it swung through. 
 Just like in a movie, a doorway had been knocked through this other dimen-
 sion.  The next thing I know, a green furry, featherly guy, about the a foot
 tall, lifts up the lid to the toilet.  He was peaking out to check to see if
 the coast was clear.  He poped out and told me that his name was Shuck.  He
 had no arms and really big two feet long feet.  Even though they were 
 webbed, they still set me in awe.  He told me it was for toilet travel. I
 told him I understood then I introduced myself as Andy and he told me to 
 sit down.  I was having trouble finding a spot and he said I could sit on 
 the pot.
      Shuck told me that he was sad that we had to meet on such odd circum- 
 stances, but it was urgent that I be here.  There was a problem, Shuck and 
 his family could not eat nor travel through the toilets.  He explained to me
 that he depended on shit for food and the toilets were his only way of 
 transportation.  Something had clogged up the portal between the gateway of
 our two dimensions and he could travel or eat!  He summoned me because he 
 knew that I had the skills to fix his problem.  All I needed was my hands.
 I stuck my hands into the toilet and pulled out a forty foot long turd.  
 Before I could do a double take Shuck had already ate it or taken it back to
 his family.  Either way he was gone.
      I found myself back into my bathroom.  I knew it was mine because it 
 sort of smelled like ass-crack, or was it.  It was Shuck he was standing 
 underneath me looking up my towel.  He sat there just staring so I kicked 
 him, and I think I killed him.  I didn't mean to really hurt him, but since 
 then my toilet has been stopped up.  
      I told my friend Will about what was going on and he kinda freaked out.
 He thought their was going to be an invasion of Shucks, and he was right.  
 That day at school I was taking a pee in the locker room when something that 
 looked just like Shuck popped up and ran into swimming pool.  I guess he 
 smelled shit.  I must give credit to the Shucks they have a sensitive 
 sniffer that seperates them from other good sniffers.  Ever since that day 
 in the locker room I have not seen a Shuck in a long time.  If you ever see
 one tell them that Andy is sorry.