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Even as you read these in

Found at: 0x1bi.net:70/textfiles/file?humor/lll.hum

THE LEGUME LIBERATION LEAGUE

  Even as you read these words, in this country alone, millions of innocent and
cauldrons of boiling hot water; others are suffering the indignities of being
being masticated alive.  Yes, the lot of a vegetable in America is not a

  From artichokes to beans, from celery to eggplant, from grapes to kiwi
fruits, from lettuce to mangoes, from onions to persimmons, from raspberries to
turnips, from yams to zucchini, the entire world of vegetables, fruits and nuts
s under assault by the inconsiderate masses of humanity who wantonly destroy
the hapless vegetation which lacks even the animal's capacity for escape.
These hordes of humanity will wantonly destroy whole fields of produce without
betraying even the slightest flicker of concern towards the sensitive feelings
of these beautiful creatures as they die.

  You've saved the whales.  You've banned the Bomb.  Now, you are ready for the
this SpaceShip Earth.  Boycott fruits, vegetables and nuts.  Read on for

  *It is well-established that plants are sensitive to your emotions.
Houseplants have been shown to have an affinity for music.  Think of this the
next time you snap a celery stalk -- plants can and do feel pain.

  *Under the guise of "Salad", many plants are ingested by humans while still
*horrors* raw and ALIVE.  These plants, were their root systems still intact
(it is another barbarous practice to remove the root system from a plant),
s no less disgusting in today's civilized world as eating still- living
chickens or cattle.

  *The eating of nuts is actually a form of plant abortion, as nuts are
actually tiny plant embryos who have not yet had the chance to experience the
another nut.

  * In this society, humans eat far more fruits (the female portion) than
flowers (generally incorporating both the male and the female portion) of
arose would fill volumes, but if you have at all had your consciousness raised
by Feminist thought, you will desist immediately from the eating and murder of
fruits, if only to atone for the centuries of sexual domination of the male
over the defenseless fruit.  Many fruits also contain edible seeds -- as with
the nuts, eating these destroys countless unborn embryos.

  * There is a callous brutality exceeding anything in the meat-packing
ndustry when it comes to shipping the unlucky legumes, fruits, nuts and
assorted vegetables, and displaying them in "produce" departments.  Damaged and
century's slave trade shipment and display practices we so rightfully deplore.

  *Supermarket grade vegetables are subject to additional indignities --
tomatoes are force-fed ethylene glycol while immature to induce a bright red
color; bananas are injected to keep them artificially fresh longer -- the
are growing in the field are less than optimal - being sprayed by deadly
nsecticides, being given plant hormones, being forced to grow in crowded

  * Another spine-chilling horror foisted upon the plant kingdom is the
quivering, into various jellies, jams, and juices.  The same barbaric practices

  What can YOU do?

  Write your Congressman.  Boycott all grains, fruits and vegetables and nuts.
Boycott all products made from grains, fruits, vegetables or nuts.  Support
area, as evidenced by the proliferation of fast food emporiums across the
countryside.  If you have already ceased eating most animal matter for similar
milk, milk products (even yogurt -- the Yeast and Paramecium Protection Party
are obvious crackpots -- single-celled organisms haven't the capacity to feel
episodes of the Dr.  Who who wears a dying stick of celery in his lapel.  Stop
using plant names in a derogatory fashion -- calling people fruity or nutty in
an uncomplimentary fashion only makes it the harder for the true fruits and
nuts to come into their own natural rights, free of discrimination.

  And, don't forget to support the Legume Liberation League in its unending
legal struggle to ban the importation and sale of vegetable matter anywhere.
We at LLL are also considering seeking voting rights for those plants of legal
age and over.

  Remember:  Plants were here first.  Don't they get any rights?  Thank you for
your generous support in this time of crisis.

  (A request may be made for our other pamphlet, "Houseplant Liberation:  An

  -Vera Gemini, copyright 1987-



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