Found at: 0x1bi.net:70/textfiles/file?humor/godmonth.txt

:                               ڿ                                    :
:                                                                 :
E                                                                 O
r                                                                   d
i                                                                   i
s                                                                     n
:              FRIENDS, "How do you stand with the Lord?"             :
:                 "what do you mean, `which one?' ?!"                 :
C   For those of you who are unsure about your current faith or       H
o   belief system, we offer a viable alternative. We would like       u
y   to introduce the newest breakthrough in contemporary religion     |
o                                                                     b
t                      THE GOD OF THE MONTH CLUB                      a
a                                                                     r
:   Included in this fantastic offer: Each month you will receive     d
:   complete rituals of the current God &/or Goddess of the month     :
A   including what (or whom) to sacrifice. (All monetary sacrifices   :
l   should be sent to our Board of Directors.)                        H
l                                                                     e
a       Yes--we are looking for people who like to prey. READ ON.     c
h                                                                     a
:   Each monthly package will include: 1. A lavishly illustrated      t
:   booklet of appropriate prayers and rituals. 2. Necessary tools    e
M   and instructions for all prayers and rituals. 3. Where needed     :
a   plastic injected graven images are also included.                 :
m                                                                     S
m   "But what will all this cost?"  mere pennies! and we guarantee    h
o   results!  are you worried about tithing to the wrong faith?       a
n   with God of the Month Club, you'll cover them all! Be in good     n
:   with ALL deities! Any you can't manage for yourself--(for a small g
:   extra fee.) our certified and bonded professionals will do your   |
B   praying for you. (if you should end up in Hell or some other      T
r   such region, merely send us a postcard,[sorry, no channeling] and i
i   we will cheerfully refund ALL of your money back.                 :
g   REMEMBER: The God of the Month Club will bring variety to your    :
i   life, Celibacy one month, Orgies the next...A chance to travel    D
t   to sacred shrines...companionship with like-minded members...AND  a
:   Free Deprogramming!!!!!                                           g
:                                                                     o
:                     DON'T DELAY! CALL TODAY!                        n
:                                                                     :
The Great Carrot....Cthulhu....Quetzalcoatl....Joseph Smith....Kali...: