She says English You want You

Found at: 0x1bi.net:70/textfiles/file?humor/girlspeak.txt

*File Description: Girlspeak To English Dictionary*
>>>   She says                               English
>>>   ---------                              -------
>>>   You want                               You want
>>>   We need                                I want
>>>   It's your decision                     The correct decision should be
>>>                                                 obvious by now
>>>   Do what you want                       You'll pay for this later
>>>   We need to talk                        I need to complain
>>>   Sure...go ahead                        I don't want you to.
>>>   I'm not upset                          Of course I'm upset, you moron.
>>>   You're...so manly                      You need a shave and you sweat
>>>                                                  a lot.
>>>   You're certainly attentive tonight.    Is sex all you ever think
>>>                                                  about?
>>>   I'm not emotional!  And I'm not        I'm on my period.
>>>   overreacting!
>>>   Be romantic, turn out the lights.      I have flabby thighs.
>>>   This kitchen is so inconvenient.       I want a new house.
>>>   I want new curtains                    and carpeting, furniture,
>>>                                                  wallpaper...
>>>   Hang the picture there                 No, I mean hang it there!
>>>   I heard a noise                        I noticed you were almost
>>>                                                  asleep.
>>>   Do you love me?                        I'm going to ask for something
>>>                                                  expensive.
>>>   How much do you love me?               I did something today you're
>>>                                                  really not going to
>>>                                                  like..
>>>   I'll be ready in a minute.             Kick off your shoes and find a
>>>                                                  good game on T.V.
>>>   Is my butt fat?                        Tell me I'm beautiful.
>>>   You have to learn to communicate.      Just agree with me.
>>>   Are you listening to me!?              [Too late, your dead.]
>>>   Yes                                    No
>>>   No                                     No
>>>   Maybe                                  No
>>>   I'm sorry.                             You'll be sorry.
>>>   Do you like this recipe?               It's easy to fix, so you'd
>>>                                             better get get used to it.AA
>>>   I'm not yelling!                       Yes I am yelling because I
>>>                                             think this is important.
>>>   In answer to the question "What's wrong?"
>>>   The same old thing.                    Nothing.
>>>   Nothing.                               Everything.
>>>   Everything.                            My PMS is acting up.
>>>   Nothing, really.                       It's just that you're such an
>>>                                                 asshole.
>>>   I don't want to talk about it.         Go away, I'm still building up
>>>                                          evidence against you.
         The Last Things Any Man Would Ever Say:
      10) I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
       9) While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
       8) I think hairy butts are really sexy.
       7) Her tits are just too big.
       6) Sometimes I just want to be held.
       5) That chick on Murder She Wrote gives me a woody.
       4) Sure I'd love to wear a condom.
       3) We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can
	  hold your purse.
       2) Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.
       1) I think we are lost, we better pull over ands ask for directions.
      10) Could our relationship be more physical?  I'm tired of just being
       9) Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that
       8) I think hairy butts are really sexy.
       7) Hey, get a whiff of that one.
       6) Please don't throw that old T-shirt away,  the holes in the armpit
          are just too cute.
       5) This diamond is way too big!
       4) I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
       3) Wow, it really is 14 inches!
       2) Does this make my butt look too small?
       1) I'm wrong, you must be right again.