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[ABOUT]

[POLICY]

She says English You want You

Found at: 0x1bi.net:70/textfiles/file?humor/girlspeak.txt

*File Description: Girlspeak To English Dictionary*
>>>   She says                               English
>>>   ---------                              -------
>>>   You want                               You want
>>>   We need                                I want
>>>   It's your decision                     The correct decision should be
>>>                                                 obvious by now
>>>   Do what you want                       You'll pay for this later
>>>   We need to talk                        I need to complain
>>>   Sure...go ahead                        I don't want you to.
>>>   I'm not upset                          Of course I'm upset, you moron.
>>>   You're...so manly                      You need a shave and you sweat
>>>                                                  a lot.
>>>   You're certainly attentive tonight.    Is sex all you ever think
>>>                                                  about?
>>>   I'm not emotional!  And I'm not        I'm on my period.
>>>   overreacting!
>>>
>>>   Be romantic, turn out the lights.      I have flabby thighs.
>>>   This kitchen is so inconvenient.       I want a new house.
>>>   I want new curtains                    and carpeting, furniture,
>>>                                                  wallpaper...
>>>   Hang the picture there                 No, I mean hang it there!
>>>   I heard a noise                        I noticed you were almost
>>>                                                  asleep.
>>>   Do you love me?                        I'm going to ask for something
>>>                                                  expensive.
>>>   How much do you love me?               I did something today you're
>>>                                                  really not going to
>>>                                                  like..
>>>   I'll be ready in a minute.             Kick off your shoes and find a
>>>                                                  good game on T.V.
>>>
>>>   Is my butt fat?                        Tell me I'm beautiful.
>>>   You have to learn to communicate.      Just agree with me.
>>>   Are you listening to me!?              [Too late, your dead.]
>>>   Yes                                    No
>>>   No                                     No
>>>   Maybe                                  No
>>>   I'm sorry.                             You'll be sorry.
>>>   Do you like this recipe?               It's easy to fix, so you'd
>>>                                             better get get used to it.AA
>>>   I'm not yelling!                       Yes I am yelling because I
>>>                                             think this is important.
>>>
>>>
>>>   In answer to the question "What's wrong?"
>>>
>>>   The same old thing.                    Nothing.
>>>   Nothing.                               Everything.
>>>   Everything.                            My PMS is acting up.
>>>   Nothing, really.                       It's just that you're such an
>>>                                                 asshole.
>>>   I don't want to talk about it.         Go away, I'm still building up
>>>                                          evidence against you.
  ___________________________________________________________________________________
         The Last Things Any Man Would Ever Say:
      
      10) I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
       9) While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
       8) I think hairy butts are really sexy.
       7) Her tits are just too big.
       6) Sometimes I just want to be held.
       5) That chick on Murder She Wrote gives me a woody.
       4) Sure I'd love to wear a condom.
       3) We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can
	  hold your purse.
       2) Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.
       1) I think we are lost, we better pull over ands ask for directions.
         
      
          THE LAST THINGS ANY WOMAN WOULD EVER SAY:
      
      10) Could our relationship be more physical?  I'm tired of just being
          friends.
       9) Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that
          way.
       8) I think hairy butts are really sexy.
       7) Hey, get a whiff of that one.
       6) Please don't throw that old T-shirt away,  the holes in the armpit
          are just too cute.
       5) This diamond is way too big!
       4) I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
       3) Wow, it really is 14 inches!
       2) Does this make my butt look too small?
       1) I'm wrong, you must be right again.