Ah, a letter from Santa!!
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have
been good this year, and since you have, I will be telling my
elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at
Christmas.
I was going to bring you all the gifts froms the "Twelve
Days of Christmas", but we have had a little problem up here:
The Twelve Fiddlers Fiddling have all come down with V.D.
from fiddling with the Ten Ladies Dancing; the Eleven Lords a
Leaping have knocked up the Eight Maids a Milking; and the
Nine Pipers Playing have been arrested for doing wierd things
to the Seven Swans a Swimming. The Six Geese a Laying, Four
Calling Birds, Three French Hens, Two Turtle Doves and the
Partridge in a Pear Tree have me up to my ass in Bird Shit.
On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause,
eight of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the
Gay Liberation, and those dum-ass Polacks have scheduled
Christmas in Poland for the 5th of February.
Sincerely,
Santa Claus
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