Cyberpunk 2077 is a Hot Poo - Odd Nugget

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Cyberpunk 2077 cyber-sucks and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Mostly, because I didn't buy it in the first place.

Anyone with more than marshmallows in their skull could have told you a decade-long hype train could only conclude its journey by careening off a cliff.

cyberpunk is the best ps2 game of 2020

The suckiness signs were clear from the start, but I can't keep myself from enjoying the unprecedented train wreck of a wrap-up.

Oh 2020... Keep those hits comin'!


This Game is Immature


cyberpunk hypontic eyes

The entire "Adult" media designation is a blatant misnomer. Everything "adult" seems to be the most banal, immature trash dream of a crusty teenage McDonald's reject at this point, and the whole charade is wearing thin.

cyberpunk first mission

As a twenty-something male with a common interest in the opposite sex, I can seriously say adding boobies to this does not make me want to play it.

Nor does dropping F-bombs every sentence. Or allowing me to customize my character's genitals. Or... Wait, what the... Really, guys? Really?

genital generator in cyberpunk 2077

This game is what happens when lame, childish concepts are mistaken as being appropriate for adults.

Launching from the faulty stance of "boobies + dirty words = Imma big boi now", the silly team behind this stinker proceeded to fill it with so much of both that no child could ever be allowed to play it and no self-respecting adult would take much of an interest in it either.


Cybersuck is a Glitchfest


cyberpunk 2077 glitch in the desert

Festooned in the trappings of modern mediocrity, this abomination takes a familiar release course I like to call "Hype First, Attempt to Actually Piece Together a Game at the Last Minute After Claiming to Have Been Working on it for an Entire Decade".

And yes, I do call it that.

cyberpunk 2077 is a cyberscam

Let's all be honest here... This game has not actually been worked on for a decade.

Shills have been paid.

Keanu has made meme history. Repeatedly.

keanu cyberpunk breathtaking

Cringetabulous trailers have been released to frothy mouths and techno-futurist fanfare.

But, to be fair, not much work appears to have gone into the actual game beyond the basic set pieces. And even that part's pretty questionable.


Stupid Decisions Abound


edit your nipples in cyberpunk

"Work" on a game for a decade, then release an unfinished pile of dung that needs an immediate patch of over 45GB worth of assets. Um, yikes.

A decade...

cyberpunk updates laundry list

Then, deliver an intricate character creation process, complete with unnecessary genital customization, only to force people to play it in FIRST PERSON. Indefinitely.

Soooo... Customizing what can't be seen?

Brilliant.

Oh, and you can never alter your appearance again after your character has been created.

A decade...

cyberpunk is pure punishment

Allow players to choose their dialogue and actions, then force them to choose the option you had in mind anyway because there was never a real choice in the first place. Nice.

A DECADE?! FOR THIS?! I THINK NOT!

cyberpunk bald boy

Cybertrash666 pre-order price = $60

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... The next generation of games.

cyberpunk has arrived

It's pretty much what you'd expect at this point. Much ado about nothing... Overhyped emptiness.

cyberpunk dissapointment

Nothing else to see here, folks. So, have a nice day. :)

Read about Undertale fan art next.



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