Bitcoin is Bleeding and Reddit Don't Care - Delightful Delusions at Bitcoiningsham Palace - Odd Nugget


So, Bitcoin is bombing at the moment and all the B-boys on the block have buffed up their diamond hands to take a stab at catching its dagger-like descent.

My inner troll led me to their lair (r/Bitcoin) to lap up the laughs like they're trading on Mt. Gox.

I can't stop laughing.

Neither will you, fellow wizard (or witch), once you've seen some of the asinine quotes I've culled from these untintentional comedic geniuses.

bitcoin becomes parabolacoin

I've dubbed their place on the web Bitcoiningsham Palace; unofficially, of course. There we may partake in the revelry that is their wanton delusion together.

Our merriment will never end.

Let's begin with the best and get better...

Shine Bright, Like a Diamond

bitcoiners have diamond hands

What would Internet investment advice be without mentioning diamond hands?

In short, less hilarious.

With hands of purest elemental crystal, the strong-willed outlast the feeble-minded fumblers of bitcoin-hodling infamy. These guys are tougher than thou and they know it.

bitcoiners are tough guys

The toughness of these Internet tough guys transcends space-time. Your fear is as offensive to them as a fart in their face.

The mere mention of selling during a selloff provokes their wrath.

weakness disgusts bitcoiners

Some seem to recognize the baked in fragility of this failed system for worldwide monetary change...

bitcoin is a fragile thing

But they are dismissed as the cowards they clearly are.

bitcoiners shun security

Never Give Up, Never Surrender

bitcoiners never give up or sell

Bitcoin bros know it's sats before hoes, always and forever. They don't give up and "surrender" is absent from their lexicon. They're in it for the tech... And the lambos.

Indeed, their steadfast faith borders on the uber-spiritual as they place faith in the divine that their profits will pull through.

bitcoiners worship young buddha

I like to imagine every single quote from these people being delivered with deadpan sincerity. Like, they mean this; they're down for life.

A life of holding onto something that will soon, soon enough make them millionaires. They get up and stay up for it, if you know what I mean...

bitcoiners keep it up

Funny how no other legitimate use case comes to mind. Well, except for saving all of humanity, of course...

bitcoin means war

Only true wizards like Merlin3301 above know what's up, though. The rest of us are but dead sunfish floating on the sea of fate.

It's the Future

China banning bitcoin is good for bitcoin

When in doubt, claim it's the future.

Bitcoin is always the future, no matter how many decades it slumps along, panhandling for "widespread adoption"TM.

bitcoiners know the future

It's the future even if its extensive past and present stack up to zilch in an everyday usability sense. In fact, anything and everything supports this notion.

China bans its use = the future.

Price drops off a cliff in less than a week = future.

Improvements to the technology use better, non-blockchain processes that have existed for decades to speed it up offchain = come join us in Tomorrowland comrade! The future is now! #HODL

If that's not enough for you, you could always take their word for it.

buying bitcoin is a good idea they promise

A promise is worth a thousand tears...

bitcoiners double down

Don't double down.

Don't fall for the crazy. Sell if it makes sense (it does) and save yourself the financial destruction that is yet to come.

Read about bitcoin's many failings next.


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